Chistes,poesias graciosas y imagenes con letras

Hoy les voy a contar unos chistes Era una vez dos borrachos que se acuestan a dormir en una litera, y el borracho que está en la parte de arriba de la litera antes de dormirse comienza a rezar: Con Dios me acuesto, con Dios me levanto, la Virgen María, y el Espíritu Santo. En eso se cae la litera y el borracho que está en la parte de abajo dice: ¿Viste? ¡Eso pasa por estar durmiendo con tanta gent ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ pepito y su mama:hijo ve a vender estas pizzas pepitoIZZAS! PIZZAS! los termina de vender y su mama le dice:bueno anda a vender caramelos pepito:MELOS! MELOS! los termina de vender y su mama le dice:anda a vender estos huevos pepito:HUEVOS! HUEVOS! los termina de vender y la mama le dice:bueno anda a vender pizzas,caramelos y huevos pepitoIZZAMELOSHUEVOS!!! ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ Esta era una niñera que regresa de un paseo en el parque con el bebé, cuando llega a la casa la madre sorprendida ve que la niñera trae a otro bebé y angustiada le pregunta: ¿Que sucedió? ¿Por qué no trae a mi hijo y trae a este niño? Y la niñera contesta: Señora usted me ha dicho, si el bebé se ensucia lo cambia. ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ María, prométeme que cuando me muera te casarás con Antonio. Pero, si es tu peor enemigo. ¡Pues por eso, que se joda! ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ Ring, ring... ¿Diga? ¿Los servicios secretos? Lo siento no puedo decírselo. ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ El "Vía Crudis" es un periodo de recogimiento espiritual donde diariamente, los parroquianos de todos los bares y cantinas de la arquidiócesis se ponen a cargar con la Cruz de su Parroquia. Los parroquianos del Vía Crudis son muy devotos de las bebidas espirituosas, y cada bebida espirituosa tiene su Santo Patrono. Estos son los principales venerables que componen el santoral de las bebidas espirituosas: SAN CUBAS TADEO, el santo patrono del ron con refresco de cola, es sin duda uno de los santos más populares. Le tienen devoción los parroquianos de todas las clases y condiciones sociales. SAN MARTINI DE PORRES, la figura más venerada de los cócteles, es un santo muy sofisticado y cosmopolita. SAN GRIA es un santo dulce y de sabor afrutado. Siempre refrescante, San Gria esta muy relacionado con la uva. SAN JOSÉ CUERVO, patrono del agave tequilero, ha cobrado mucha popularidad últimamente y ha pasado de ser un santo populachero a un santo elitista. SAN GRITA, compañero inseparable de San José Cuervo, es un santo picosito que sirve como botana. SAN PEDRO DOMECQ, originario del Valle Calafia, es un santo dedicado a las Bebidas de uva, sobre todo al brandy y a los vinos. SAN BUCA es un santo digestivo originario de Italia. SANTA CLARA es la santa patrona de las monjas del rompope. La hermana Engracia es la Madre Superiora de la orden que le rinde culto a Santa Clara. SANTA CLAUS, además de ser el gordito sonriente y bonachón que todas las Navidades les trae regalos a los niños que se portan bien, es el padrino de la sidra que trae como regalo burbujas de sabor. SANTA CHELA, de distintos orígenes, pero pocos le hacen gestos, es una santa que siempre ha gozado de popularidad. Y por ultimo, SANTA CRUZ. Una santa muy temida, pero de la que nadie se salva, pues es la que se sufre al día siguiente de haber rendido culto a cualquiera de los santos mencionados con anterioridad. ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ Mamá, mamá... en la escuela me dicen detective. ¿Por qué? ¡Shhh! Acá las preguntas las hago yo ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ¿Por qué el hijo de Superman es tan calmado? Porque es Supermansito. ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ¿Cuál es la canción preferida por los adictos al Twitter? Quiero Tener un Millón de Amigos, de Roberto Carlos. ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ¿Cuál es el hijo gay de Godzilla? ¡Barney! ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ un poco de poesias :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D del cielo cayo un cometa apuntandote a tus tetas si quieres que te la meta date la buelta coqueta. en ti naci y en ti vivi si el amor fuera con muerte hata la muerte y si es eterno eternamente tu amado y siempre tuyo antonio ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ Cada vez que pienso en él lloro tanto, tan de veras, que los vecinos de abajo se quejan de las goteras. ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ cuando te enamoras no lo notas pero poco a poco te vas volviendo idiota. ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ si los cuernos fueran bombillas tu cabeza pareceria la feria de sevilla ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ las moscas nacen verdes y cambian de color tu nacistes idiota y no te cambia ni dios. ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ El peo es un aire ligero que sale por un agujero que anuncia la llegada de su amiga la cagada El peo es un alma en pena Que aveces sopla y a veces suena es como el agua que se desliza que cuando sale nos causa risa El peo puja, el peo llora y a veces suena como tambora el peo es aire, el peo es ruido que a veces sale por un descuido El peo es fuerte es muy potente pues se lo tira toda la gente el peo es vida el peo es gloria asi decia la Reina Victoria. En este mundo el peo cuenta por que hasta el Papa se los avienta Hay peos tristes, hay peos risueños segun el gusto que tenga el dueño el peo es terco y suavecito mas cuando sale con un juguito Y si algun peo toca tu puerta no se la cierres, dejala abierta deja que salga, deja que gire deja que alguien se lo respire Los peos tienen muchos olores si no preguntale a los doctores... ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$,,,$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"OOO"$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!OOO!$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$,"OOO",$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$,"OOOOOOO",$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$!"OOOOOOOOOOO"!$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$,"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO",$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$,1OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO7,$$$$$$$ $$$$$$,!OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"$$$$$$$ $$$$$$!OOOOOOOOO/""""'OOOOOOOO1$$$$$$ $$$$$$"OOOOOOOOOO"$$$$!OOOOOOOO"$$$$$$ $$$$$$"OOOOOOOOOOO!$$$",OOOOOOO!$$$$$$ $$$$$$$",OOOOOOOOOO",$$$"""""""$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$"!OOOOOOOOOOO",$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$",OOOOOOOOOOO",$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$"OOOOOOOOOOOO",$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$"!OOOOOOOOOOOO"+$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"==OOOOOOOOOOO,$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$,,,,,,$$$$",OOOOOOOOOO",$$$$$$ $$$$$$,"OOOOOO',$$$$",OOOOOOOOO!$$$$$$ $$$$$$1OOOOOOOO."~~~"OOOOOOOOOO!$$$$$$ $$$$$$!OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO1$$$$$$$ $$$$$$",OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,"$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$",OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$1OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,1$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$"~~,OOOOOOOOOO,"$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$"""1OOO1"'$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!OOO!$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$,OOO,$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"""$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ___________0000000_____________0000000 _______00000000000000_______0000000000000 _____000000000000000000__000000000000000000 ___000000000000000000000000000000_______00000 __0000000000000000000000000000000_________0000 _0000000000000000000000000000000000________0000 _0000000000000000000000000000000000000_____0000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000___00000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000_000000 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 _0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 __00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 ____0000000000000000000000000000000000000000 ______000000000000000000000000000000000000 _________000000000000000000000000000000 ____________000000000000000000000000 ______________00000000000000000000 _________________000000000000000 ___________________0000000000 _____________________000000 ______________________0000 _______________________00 ______________________.s$$$³³´_______,___s$$³³ _____________________s$$$$³³______.s$___$$³³ ________________,____$$$$$.______s$³³____³³$ ________________$___$$$$$$s_____s$³³_____³³, _______________s$___³³$$$$$$s___$$$ _______________$$____³³$$$$$$s.__³³$$s _______________³³$.____³³$$$$$$$s_.s$$$____s´ _______________`$$.____³³$$$$$$$_$$$$___s³³ ________________³³$$s____³³$$$$$$s$$$³³__s$ _________________³³$$s____$$$$$s$$$$__s$$ _____________`s.__$$$$___s$$$$$$$$³³_.s$$³³__s ______________$$_s$$$$..s$$$$$$$$$$$$$$³³__s$ ______________s$.s$$$$s$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_s$$ _____________s$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$³³ ____________s$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$´ ____________$$*ste*ste*$$$$$$$$$*ste*ste*$$ ____________*ste*___*ste*$$$$*ste*___*ste* __________*ste*______*ste*$*ste*_______*ste* _________*ste*__________*ste*__________*ste* _________*ste*________________________*ste* __________*ste*______________________*ste* ___________*ste*_____________________*ste* _____________*ste*_________________*ste* ______________*ste*_____________*ste* ________________*ste*_________*ste* __________________*ste*_____*ste* ____________________*ste**ste* _______________________*ste* _________?§$$$$$$$§§?_ ___________§$$$$$$$$$$$$§? 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11 comentarios - Chistes,poesias graciosas y imagenes con letras

@jakooo
que buen post sta bueno lode los chistes ypoemas
muy buen post
@jakooo
ta bueno el post:
un pequeño chiste de yayo:

estaba platicando una pareja, el hombre le dice a la mujer hoy te lo voy a hacer por el oido: y la mujer le contesta pero me vas a dejar sorda: el hombre le contesta y alguna vez te e dejado muda,,,,,,,....,,,,,,,,
@lesu
hermosa
@yeahn
No se ve ni una mierda :'c