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ClientCopia: Frases estúpidas de clientes.

En este sitio pueden leer e incluso subir sus propias experiencias ridículas con clientes idiotas.
Algunos ejemplos:


Client: My secretary just spilled her coffee on my computer keyboard and now it won't work. What can you do to fix it? Me: (Gently explains that it was going to be quicker and cheaper for him to replace the keyboard.) Client: Oh... (hangs up) Client phones back in a couple of minutes: Um... actually, she says that it was tomato soup. Does that make a difference...?


Client (on email): I'm having difficulty copying all those photographs that you want to a CD as I'm not sure how to use my CD writer (you know what I'm like). There's quite a lot as you know, so rather than email them to you: I am sending my computer to you by courier. You should get it in the morning. Can you take them off and send my computer back. Thanks!


Some years ago i worked at a local Internetprovider. One day a client with a technical problem phoned me. Client: I can't connect to the Internet. Me: Did you check whether your modem ist turned on and correctly plugged into the socket? Client: Of course it is turned on and plugged in. Do you think i'm stupid? But i had to use a hammer to get the plug into the socket. Me: You had to do what? Client: The plug did not fit into the socket ... Me: Can you please describe the plug? He describes an ISDN-Cable. Me: Do you have ISDN? Client: Why? No, thats to expensive, but i want to use the Internet now! Me: I'm sorry but i can't help you with your problem. Maybe you call your Phone-company and explain them how you HAMMERED an ISDN-plug into a socket for analogue phones. Client: ... *click* Never heared of that client again ;-)


I was designing a flyer for a client and e-mailed her the 72 dpi RGB proof. She wrote back and said she could only see half of it. I checked the jpg, couldn't find anything wrong, but reformatted a new jpg and sent it again. She says she still can only see half of the file. I send the file to my boss and a few friends and everyone says it works fine. I cannot figure out what could be happening on her end, except that maybe she's using an old version of Paint or something and there are size restrictions??? (Not even sure, this is possible, but I was out of ideas). I put the file on my website, check it, have everyone else check it and it's there, perfectly fine. I send her the link. Sure enough she writes back saying she can now see a bit more of the file, but still not much more than half. At this point she CCs my boss and complains that I can't do my job. On day two, after hours and hours of working on this, I pick up the phone and call her: "okay, you have the file open on your computer screen, correct?" "Yes, I am on the site you told me to go to." "Okay, so what do you see?" "I see the top portion of the flyer, right down to the sentence that says...******" "Okay, but when you scroll down, what do you see? Is it just blank, or blurry, or black, or what??" "What do you mean by scroll down?" **sigh**


I worked for AOL technical support years ago and once I recieved a call from someone who could not get the disk to work. First off I tried all the normal stuff that people need to be told, eg. check disk for scratches, clean disk, make sure disk is shiny side down in the drive (it's rare but people used to get that one wrong sometimes). Anyway the disk seemed undamaged but the customer claimed that all other disks worked without any problems. So I suspected it was just a bad disk and was going to have a new one sent out. I asked whether it was a PC or a Mac - the customer didn't know. I asked the customer to describe the screen. Now it started getting weird and what the customer started describing didn't make much sense and I was started to get quite confused myself. I asked the customer to read the name off the box. The customer replied: 'Sony Playstation.' I laughed so hard I cried.


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4Comments
fedecaira

el mejor.

18 Jacob #3050 | Rating: 4.62

Client: I got an e-mail from you with an attachment on it, and I opened it and now my
computer won't work. Me: Are you sure it is from us? We don't send out e-mail with
attachments on it so I don't think- Client: Yes it is from you, it says right here,
[email protected], that's you! Me: Oh I see, well that's a hoax e-mail, someone
is sending it with our information, but it's not really from us. As stated in your contract
with us, we will never send you an e-mail with an attachment, so- Client: Yes you did
send it, it's got your name on it right here! Me: As I said, it's a hoax, someone is
impersonating our company to send you spyware and viruses, so- Client: Liar! It says
it's from your company! Me: Okay, give me one minute. {I pause for a minute or two
while I create an e-mail from "George W. Bush," complete with Presidential Seal and
coming from [email protected]} Me: All right, check your e-mail - got anything
new? Client: Yep, just got a new e-mail. Me: Who does it say it's from? Client: . . . holy
shit! It's from the president! Me: No, it's from me, I sent that. Client: How come it has
the presidential seal, then? Me: I put it on there. It's a hoax. See how easy it is to
impersonate someone else? Client: Fine, but what am I supposed to do about this virus
you gave me? Me: As I said, that isn't from us, we didn't give you any kind of virus. If
you'd like, we can send someone out to you to fix it. It will cost $65 an hour, including
traveling time. Client: I'm not paying that much money to fix a virus you sent me! Me:
As I said, that isn't from us, we didn't give you any kind of virus. If you'd like, you can
bring your computer into us, and we will repair it for you for only $30 an hour. Client: I
can't bring my computer in, I'm trying to run a business here! Me: How successful is
your business running with your computer broken because of viruses? Client: Listen
smart-ass, you're paying to have this done because you sent it to me. Me: No. We did
not send it to you. There's no other way for me to say "we didn't send it to you." I have
given you options for having us fix it, or you are of course welcome to try fixing it
yourself if you'd prefer not to pay for our services. Client: Thanks for no help at all,
asshole! {hangs up}

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seb

no se ingles, osea no estendi nada

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Fedelo

excelente, el ultimo mortal. 😁 😁

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PabloF

Ta bueno, me gusto. Pero supongo que eso es porque se bastante ingles. Te
recomendaria que usaras paginas abiertas que sirven para traducir textos antes de
postearlos y asi todos podran disfrutarlos por igual. Anyway... muy bueno. 😉

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